Weeding My Garden – Who Knew?

I had been delaying the inevitable for days, weeks, maybe even a month or so - weeding my garden. Everyone one of them, the flower garden along the front, side and back of my house.  The vegetable garden and lavender garden.  Our memorial garden where our two beloved dogs and my brother’s cat are buried.  And the old burn pile turned into yet another flower garden.  Every one of them was being overtaken by weeds! 

Weeding to me is addictive.  Once I start I really can’t stop.  The benefits far outweigh the aches and pains of a back stooped over for too long, my broken and dirty fingernails, and the scrapes and scratches I get.   I started to think of weeding as a metaphor for weeding things out of my life that no longer serve a purpose.  Mostly what I was weeding out were thoughts. Negative thoughts that weigh me down and keep me from moving on.  Thoughts that deplete my energy and leave me angry and frustrated.  I plucked them out and threw them in the pile with the rest of the weeds.

I like seeing the clean fresh earth as the weeds are cleared away.  It gives a quick rush of fresh hope.  Like starting out with a clean slate and being able to dream again about the future.  But one thing I’ve learned from weeding is that if you don’t put something in place of the weeds, like compost or mulch, the weeds will soon take over again.  The same with my own thoughts.  I had to replace the old negative thoughts with positive ones to keep the negative ones from taking over again.  But it’s interesting how many positive thoughts, affirmations, and visualizations you need to overtake just one negative thought.  To retrain you’re stinkin’ thinkin’ with something more enriching, healthy and productive.

As far as the physical benefits of gardening, you’re using all the major muscles groups; legs, arms, shoulders, back, buttocks and abdomen.  You’re burning calories and gaining strength and muscle as you weed your garden.  Gardening 30 minutes a day can increase flexibility, strengthen joints and decrease your blood pressure and cholesterol.  You can burn about 156 calories in 30-45 minutes of weeding.   

After 3 days of weeding and 4 heaping wheelbarrows full of weeds, I can proudly say my mind and garden is weed free, and I’ve been stretched beyond what I’m used to.  Which one do you think will stay weed free the longest?  It’s a constant battle that I have to stay vigilante about if I want my garden and my mind to be clear and allow for new and fresh growth.



Need Blogging Support?

I joined Mom Spark Media several months ago and love it!  It is a great way bounce ideas off of and get fantastic support from other mommy bloggers.  They have some wonderful opportunities for reviews, giveaways, promotional posts, and paid campaigns as well as some helpful information on blogging courses and other handy tips. 

Well, Mom Spark Media just announced they are running a special promotion for new members only!  New members can sign of for a MSM membership and test it out for two weeks to see if it’s a good fit.  You get the same access as a regular MSM member in the form of classes and you can apply for opportunities too at no charge for the first two weeks with no obligation to join permanently.  After the two week period, you can decide if you want to continue your MSM membership (with a paid membership) or cancel.

If you are interested, you need to enter a referral code which is my blog name (The Positive Self) or my name (Jeanne Gumbleton) into the sign-up form.  Here is where you can join.

So go ahead and give it a try!

Are You Really too Sick?

My 10 year old complained of a stomach ache this morning and told me he wasn't going to school.  I of course ignored his please as this was probably the 118th time he tried this.  So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he called from school to tell me his stomach was still bothering him, and yes he did eat something and still didn't feel better.  He proceeded to tell me his teacher felt his forehead and he did feel warm.  So I jumped in my car to pick him up.  I ran into his teacher in the office and I had to chuckle because he apologized to me.  I not sure he was apologizing because my son was sick, or because I had to come pick him up and take him home.

Even as a WAHM it's not always easy to work when the children are home.  It is a blessing that I can drop everything and pick my children up when they are sick, but they are basically in my "office" when they are home.  I feel for mother's who work outside of the home and either can't leave, or have to jump through hoops to figure out how they can leave and still get their work done.

So after a half a package of saltine crackers, my son is feeling better...until tomorrow and the 119th time.

How Can A Busy Mom Stay Focused?

I haven’t posted in awhile and I apologize.  It seems that the closer it gets to spring, the busier we get around here.  With three children in various activities and all the tasks that I currently have going on with work and other projects, I find that I have a hard time focusing on what’s important and what I really need to get done.  Like right now it’s taxes!  We don’t prepare our own taxes, I just need to gather all the paperwork that our accountant needs.  Ok, so how easy is that?  Yet I still procrastinate!  I get frustrated with my children when they can’t seem to focus on a simple task and here I am doing the same thing. 

I wrote a post about organization awhile back and I think it’s time to revisit this and also other ways to stay focused.   

I started listing the top three things I need to do today.  #1 today is of course getting paperwork together for taxes (right after I finish this post of course).  Make sure you put in a task that is fun, interesting or educating.  This will motivate you to get to the end of your list faster. 

I also decided to keep most household chores for the late afternoon and evening when the kids are home.  This way I can interact with them better than if I was sitting at the computer working.  Plus it’s easier to get them to do their chores if I’m working alongside with them.

One of the last things I like to do at the end of the day is to read.  This is my way of relaxing and I look forward to it every day.  So most evenings by 10:00 pm you can find me with a book in my hands winding down for the night!

What helps to keep you focused and not procrastinate?

Celebrating Love Giveaway

Celebrating Love: Share, Remember, Cherish follows Celebrating Mom in a new gift series from 1-800-flowers.com and Celebrations.com founder Jim McCann.

Reinforcing the 1-800-flowers.com and Celebrations.com philosophy of helping customers express, connect, and celebrate, McCann balances the practical with the inspirational, and the poignant with the profound, inside this collection of authentic love stories.

Full-color drawings illustrate the book throughout and are interspersed with meaningful quotes and little-known facts about love and affection.  Divided into four sections based on the distinct seasons of love, Celebrating Love features 150 entries.

Jim McCann founded 1-800-flowers.com in 1976 and over the last 35 years he has built it into the world's leading florist and gift company.  What a great gift to show that special someone how much you care.

1-800-flowers.com is also holding a "Love Note" contest on Facebook:  All you have to do is go to the website and "like" your favorite bouquet with the Facebook button.  It's really easy and it enters you into an additional contest to win a free bouquet.

One reader of The Positive Self will win a copy of Celebrating Love.  Ways to enter:

1. Like my Facebook page and post a message that you would like to win the Celebrating Love Giveaway and share the post with your friends.
2. Tweet about this contest up to 3 times a day with at least an hour in between each tweet.  Leave the link.  Tweet - "Celebrating Love Giveaway http://bit.ly/f1EwCl ( via @ThePositiveSelf)"
3. Leave a comment below that you would like to win the Celebrating Love Giveaway.  Make sure your e-mail is included.

Contest ends 2/20/11 and is open to US residents only.  This giveaway was made possible by Mom Spark Media.  Thoughts and opinions are my own.  Product was provided for review.

What’s Your Teens On-line Image?

I recently attended a webinar given by The Girl Scout Research Institute and Pew Internet.  These two organizations teamed up to evaluate teenage use of the internet.

The Girl Scout Research Institute stated “This nationwide survey, which included more than 1,000 girls ages 14 to 17, finds the increased exposure to social media puts teenage girls in a confusing situation where a girl's image is not always what it seems, as nearly 74 percent of girls agree that most girls use social networking sites to make themselves "cooler than they really are." The survey finds that girls downplay several positive characteristics of themselves online, most prominently their intelligence, kindness and efforts to be a positive influence.”

What was most striking to me was the percentage of girls who portrayed their on-line image as sexy and crazy, were more likely the girls with the lowest self-esteem.   Does this mean they practice riskier behavior on-line in an effort to be more popular?  The survey also revealed that the girls in-person behavior came across as smart, fun, funny, kind, a good influence, outgoing, cool, and social/confident.  While their on-line profile was apt to more fun, funny, and social, thus downplaying their positive attributes.

Besides the fact that we need to constantly bolster our children’s positive view of themselves, they also need to understand that they have to handle their on-line activities responsibly.  Every generation has their battles to face with their teens and I believe ours is social media.  It’s a fun and fantastic way for our teens to keep in contact, but as a parent it’s another activity we have to constantly monitor to make sure our children are not putting themselves at risk.  They need to understand the boundaries that go with the responsibility of putting a post on the internet that will stay there virtually forever. 

Since you are reading this post, you are obviously a parent, caregiver or caring adult who is concerned and wants to keep abreast of what our teens are doing.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents who do not monitor and who do not know that their teens are putting themselves at risk with inappropriate language, pictures, etc.  If your teen is a friend of one of these children, I challenge you to occasionally bring the subject up about who’s posting what on Facebook and talk about what is appropriate.  They may be risking their reputation among their peers, getting into college or getting the job they want.  You keep hearing the term “It Takes a Village”, but I don’t think enough adults are adhering to this motto.  Don’t be afraid to take a stand, it may not make you popular, but you already went through adolescence.

 

Young Writers

I was intrigued by the post “How to Be Her Writing Coach” since my 7 year old daughter loves to write.  She writes several stories a week and is always so excited to share them with me.  I want to encourage her to continue writing, but also be able to provide her with constructive criticism without offending her. 

Writing is a critical skill for children to learn and many organizations are concerned with the quality of writing that college graduates have.  Starting great writing habits with your children while they are young will give them the edge when competing for that job when they enter the workforce.



Do You Choose How Your Day Goes?

I actually woke up this morning with dread. The kids were home from school for the 2^nd day in a row because of snowmageddon.  I decided if I wanted to survive this day, I better quickly choose how I wanted the day to go.  I chose to go for something positive.  After all I want the day to go smoothly, right? After I crawled out of bed, I discovered that the kids already ate breakfast, bonus #1.  We took a quick trip to the library for some movies, and a photo opp with their latest snow creation.  I was back to work while they watched movies.  Bonus #2!  And as bonus #3, I was able to endure a half hour yoga session thanks to a DVD I picked up while we were at the library.  So now I have at least an hour and a half to work, hopefully uninterrupted. But then there is lunch. I wonder if they would go for Linner…

Empower Your Children

After I wrote the post regarding MTV’s ‘Skins’ I felt pretty depressed.  Depressed because our children are losing their innocents, wonder and awe at an earlier age.  It kind of makes me feel like an old fuddy duddy saying this.  I’m sure I looked at my elder’s in a funny way when they would talk about where my generation was headed.  But the morals of our society really suck!  Does anyone care that our daughters are degrading themselves and their sexuality all in the name of popularity, keeping the guy, or whatever other hang-up is involved!

We need to empower our daughters to believe in themselves and where they are going in life.  Help them find out who they are, where they want to go, what they want to do. Help them develop their integrity so they know that they can go to a place inside themselves when making tough decisions and from this place they are able to make the right choice based on this firm belief. That’s what it is to feel empowered!

So what will you do today to instill some integrity in your children?  Just pick one thing today and you will be on your way to giving your children the best gift you can.

MTV’s 'Skins' -The Demoralization of our Children



MTV premiered its American remake of Skins last Monday and it has stirred up a lot of controversy!  The Parents Television Council (PTC) called on the Feds to open an investigation regarding child pornography and exploitation of MTV’s Skins, the network itself is also concerned.  Sexual content includes 42 depictions and references to drugs and alcohol in the 41 minute premiere episode alone, as reported by the PTC.

Skins depicts a group of drug taking, hard partying, sexually obsessed teenagers who disrespect authority figures, use strong language, and use age inappropriate flirting (can you say Cougar).  With a rating of TV MA, of the 3.3 million viewers, MTV’s target audience of 12 to 34 year olds made up 83%.  12 year olds! I could not imagine letting my 12 year old watch Skins.  I wonder how many MTV execs let their children watch the show!

Taco Bell, GM and Wrigley, a subsidiary of Mars, Inc., have all ditched their advertising for MTV’s racy drama.  Let’s see who else steps up to the plate and takes notice.

Could this be teen porn?  You decide:



If you let your teenager (hopefully not anyone younger) watch this drama, I challenge you to sit and watch it with your child.  If you do not feel the least bit uncomfortable while watching, I suggest you immediately search for help!  Society has done enough to demoralize our children.  I keep hearing and reading teenagers (and may I gasped, younger) are all experimenting with sex, drugs, and overall racy behavior.  Does it surprise me? No.  Should it? Yes.  It’s time parents stand up and take back the control they have given away.  It’s hard enough keeping track of all that is going on in our children’s lives, constantly keeping vigil of who they’re hanging out with, where they’re going, what they’re doing, watching, googling, texting, Tweeting, posting on Facebook...  The list is dizzying!

Lead actress Sofia Black-D'Elia, who plays a lesbian teen on Skins, said in an interview, "It's the way teenagers believe, I think, especially you know in certain situations when you come from home lives where your parents don't really support you or really listen to you. That's what most of these kids are going through.”

So, if you take the back seat when it comes to monitoring and engaging with your children, then don’t be surprised when the choices they make don’t reach your expectations.  Whether you want the job or not, you are the PARENT, not the FRIEND! 

Daily Affirmations

Your day will be so joyful after you watch this video!

Sexuality…It’s more than sex!

As part of my son’s catechism, a speaker came in to our church to talk to them about sexuality.  The parent’s had the opportunity to listen to him speak in a separate session while the children were going through their lesson in another room.  Dr. Timothy Hogan is a licensed psychologist who presented this touchy subject in an enjoyable and humorous manner that put a whole new twist on my definition of what sexuality really is.

When I googled sexuality, many of the postings had variations on how people experience and express themselves as sexual beings.  How we are attracted to other humans and how our sexual thoughts, desires and longings, erotic fantasies, turn-ons and experiences is a complex aspect  of our personality.

But when you flip this over into a more sacred space, sexuality takes on a different meaning.  When you truly love yourself, your self-confidence and self-esteem soar!  Your whole persona permeates your being and effects the way your carry and conduct yourself.  You may think that this is a more subtle form of sexuality, but in actuality it is a powerfully positive presence that flows through your being and is carried forth to everyone around you, attracting the like back to you.  I posted awhile back about teaching my children to love themselves.  This lesson is starting to take some effect, but I believe it is a life-long process to constantly remind ourselves and our children who we are made in the image of and that we are all worthy of loving and being loved.

When teens dress provocatively and use crude language or other means outside of themselves to draw attention, it is false, it has no substance. As Dr. Hogan says “What you put on the hook determines the fish you catch. “ In other words, how you dress will teach others how to treat you.  We need to teach our children that modesty and humility are positive qualities that will garner much more self-confidence and self-acceptance.  They need to leave something for the imagination instead showing their “goods” to everyone around.  Where has the mystery gone?

We all know that our children learn first and foremost from their parent’s or caregivers.  What is practiced in the home is what they pick up.  How do you respond to various TV shows and movies?  When someone on TV dresses provocatively or treats someone of the opposite sex inappropriately, do you use that as a teaching moment or do you quickly change the channel?  You are at the front line.  You need to continually lift up your children, even repeating the same positive phrases over and over.  They are watching and listening!