Sexuality…It’s more than sex!

As part of my son’s catechism, a speaker came in to our church to talk to them about sexuality.  The parent’s had the opportunity to listen to him speak in a separate session while the children were going through their lesson in another room.  Dr. Timothy Hogan is a licensed psychologist who presented this touchy subject in an enjoyable and humorous manner that put a whole new twist on my definition of what sexuality really is.

When I googled sexuality, many of the postings had variations on how people experience and express themselves as sexual beings.  How we are attracted to other humans and how our sexual thoughts, desires and longings, erotic fantasies, turn-ons and experiences is a complex aspect  of our personality.

But when you flip this over into a more sacred space, sexuality takes on a different meaning.  When you truly love yourself, your self-confidence and self-esteem soar!  Your whole persona permeates your being and effects the way your carry and conduct yourself.  You may think that this is a more subtle form of sexuality, but in actuality it is a powerfully positive presence that flows through your being and is carried forth to everyone around you, attracting the like back to you.  I posted awhile back about teaching my children to love themselves.  This lesson is starting to take some effect, but I believe it is a life-long process to constantly remind ourselves and our children who we are made in the image of and that we are all worthy of loving and being loved.

When teens dress provocatively and use crude language or other means outside of themselves to draw attention, it is false, it has no substance. As Dr. Hogan says “What you put on the hook determines the fish you catch. “ In other words, how you dress will teach others how to treat you.  We need to teach our children that modesty and humility are positive qualities that will garner much more self-confidence and self-acceptance.  They need to leave something for the imagination instead showing their “goods” to everyone around.  Where has the mystery gone?

We all know that our children learn first and foremost from their parent’s or caregivers.  What is practiced in the home is what they pick up.  How do you respond to various TV shows and movies?  When someone on TV dresses provocatively or treats someone of the opposite sex inappropriately, do you use that as a teaching moment or do you quickly change the channel?  You are at the front line.  You need to continually lift up your children, even repeating the same positive phrases over and over.  They are watching and listening!